A New Beginning

Ecc. 3:1 says there is a new season for everything. That "everything" includes your marriage. Regardless of what happen in your marriage in 2006, 2005 or 2004, a new year is approaching. You can make 2007 the best year ever in your marriage. Above, you will see a countdown to 2007. Utilize this time to:

1. Let go of past issues.
2. Make a commitment to move forward
3. Develop goals for 2007
4. Make a decision to stop developing counter productive habits in your marriage
5. Meet with a Marriage counselor or a Marriage Coach to assist you in some issues.
6. Be determine to excel in your marriage

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© David L. Banks, 2006

The 3 Dimensions in Marriage- ONENESS

The third dimension in marriage is

ONENESS


In this dimension is where the couple is really experiencing the true meaning of marriage. The couple is beginning to progress forward and enjoy a deeper closer on another level. Also, at this level, when the couple put their minds together to accomplish something, there is nothing they can't accomplish. They both draw from each other's strength. This couple has developed ways to work through issues and resolve conflicts more effectively. Now since you have learned about the three dimension in marriage, make it your goal to start to entering into them!

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The 3 Dimensions in Marriage- CLEAVING

The second dimension in marriage is

CLEAVING

In this dimension, the couple is now ready to start to move closer together. This process is developed by:

1. TIME- spending time together is an important ingredient in bringing a couple together. Don't try to focus on quality vs quantity time, but every time you spend time together make it very special.

2. Talk-Communication is also another important element in cleaving. When you communicate, you SOULS are connected to each other.

3. Touch- Being affectionate is another connecting component. Holding hands, body massages, kissing and being intimate are ways you can cleave with your mate.

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Pastor David

The 3 Dimensions in Marriage- LEAVING

Marriage was created in three different dimensions. A dimension is a applied revelation. When a couple learned a new revelation and apply that revelation in their marriage, they enter into another dimension. The first Dimension in marriage is:

LEAVING

In this dimension, the couple is learning how to leave their singleness and selfishness. When a person is single, they only have to think about themselves, which can result in being selfish. When that person enters into marriage, they must be willing to LEAVE; meaning to separate from, detach or break away from. Both husband and wife must be willing to walk through this dimension together. Only after they move through this dimension of LEAVING, they are ready to enter into the next dimension.

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The ABCs of Marriage Z

Z is for Zone

When the couples apply the letters A-Y, they will enter into the "Marriage Zone". A Zone means an area that has distinctive characteristics. You want your marriage to be distinct from others. When your marriage has developed and entered into the "Marital Zone", your marriage will become strong, solid and sealed for life. You will become inseparable!!!!!!!!!

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The ABCs of Marriage Y

Y is for Yearly

Every year consisted of 365 days. Couples must not waist a day. Here are some things couples must do on a yearly basis:

1. Go on vacation
2. Yearly goals for health, finances
3. Marital enhancement: Read a marriage book, marriage seminar and marriage devotional
4. Renew marital vows
5. Celebrate your anniversary
6. Strategize how you can make your marriage better
7. Husband- write your write a love note
8. Wives-write your husband a note of how much you appreciate him
9. Go on a picnic
10. Mentor another couple

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The ABCs of Marriage X

X is for Xcited

A fundamental MUST for all couples is to keep their marriage xciting. Here is a simple way to keep your marriage "Xsiting":

X out things that brings division, strife, obstacles or any negative hindrances

SITE- Take the initiative to focus on things that can strengthen your marriage:
1. Date
2. Marriage seminar
3. Weekend getaway
4. Candle light dinner
5. Have fun together
6. Show each other "Love Language"
7. Discuss and work through difficult situation
8. Pray together
9. Discover the treasures in your marriage
10. Impact other couples

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The ABCs of Marriage W

W is for Wisdom

Wisdom is a dimension that couples need to dwell in. Wisdom are principles that sets the right foundation. When couples establish themselves in wisdom, it allows their relationship to be firm, fit and fulfilled.

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The ABCs of Marriage V

V is for Vision

There is a proverb that says:

"If you do not know where you are going, you will always end up where you are".

I strongly recommend that couples establish a marital vision for their marriage. The importance of this is two fold:

1. To keep the couple focus on one goal

2. To keep the couple moving forward

My marital goal for my marriage is: "To strive to create an excellent marriage, not in perfection, but to excel in every area in order to produce fulfillment." I encourage you to work together to establish your own marital vision.

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The ABCs of Marriage U

U is for United

One Fundamental principle in marriage is for the couple to stay united. Couples should not allow anything or anyone to come between them. The bible states that the couple should "cleave and become one". Staying united can be achieve by:

1. Communication
2. Resolving conflicts
3. Prayer
4. Spending time together
5. Having FUN

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The ABCs of Marriage T

T is for TIME

There is a special phenomenon that happens when couples spend TIME together. TIME stands for:

Treasures
In
Marriage
Emerges

When couples spend time together, they have a special opportunity to discover some wonderful treasures in their marriage. Treasures are new discovers of each other! During this holiday season, spend TIME with each other and discover new found treasures in your marriage!

The ABCs of Marriage S

S is for Sever

Marriage was created for movement. Each couple's responsibility is to examine their marriage to insure their marriage is moving. There are several things that tries to slow down,hold back, block or even divide the couple. These things must be exposed and severed out of the relationship. Here listed are some of these hindrances:

1. Bitterness
2. Unresolve issues
3. Unforgiveness
4. Distractions
5. Strife
6. Negativity
7. Bringing up the past
8. Bad habits
9. Discuss personal issues with others beside your spouse
10. Bringing up the word "Divorce" when an argument arise

When these things are severed out of a relationship, it allows the relationship to continue moving and growing!

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The ABCs of Marriage R

R is for Romance

Many couples sometimes find it hard to keep the romance in their marriage. There are so many things; jobs, bills, finances, kid's activities and ministry that are demanding your time and attention. The key to romance is to revive the atmosphere. Here are some simple tips:

1. Schedule time to be together. Make it a priority.
2. Be spontaneous
3. Be creative
4. Be affectionate
5. Buy scented candles and soft music to create the atmosphere

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The ABCs of Marriage Q

Q is for Quiet TIME

Even though it is very important for couples to spend quality together, but it also important for couple to experience quiet time alone. This will give each partner time for a little R&R:

1. Reflect of how things are going inside of them.
2. Recharge-build yourself up.

I suggest every week, couples should schedule some Quiet TIME alone for some R&R! It will do wonders for your marriage.

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The ABCs of Marriage P

P is for Prayer

When a couple pray together, they stay together! Prayer must be a neccessity, not just a time of convenent. Prayer is simple having fellowship with God. Here is a simple marital prayer;

"Father, we commit our marriage to you.

We ask that you give us the wisdom to align our

marriage to your design of marriage. We take dominon

over anything that trys to bring division between us or

any obstacles that trys to prevent us moving forward

We declare that our marriage is strong, health and inseparable.

In Jesus name Amen."

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The ABCs of Marriage O

O is for Openness

Being transparent in your marriage is a necessity. Without being open and transparent, your relationship starts to create walls in between you and obstacles in front of you. It is very important to keep the lines of communication open, thus preventing any "static". Remember the Verizon phone commercial "Can you hear me now"? Make sure that you both are heard and you are heard loud and clear. Create an environment where your mate feels safe to share whatever is on their heart. Take time to listen when your spouse is talking. When a couple has develop this type of openness, it creates a BOND, where the couple becomes inseparable.

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The ABCs of Marriage N

N is for Notes

It is very important for couples to write notes to each other. It is a language of love and appreciation. I encourage men to write their brides "Love Notes". Wives want to know how much their husbands love them. Men, when writing a love note, explain how much you love her and cherish her. I suggest wives to write "Appreciation Notes". Here are an examples of each note:

Love note to their bride: "Sweetheart, I love you like ______________" (i.e. give some comparison)

Appreciation note to husband: "Honey, I appreciate you for the following;" (give bullets points)


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